Bazza wanks lyrical

This post is actually attributable to Bazza, but I'm posting it 'cause he's shit lazy.

Dear Tipsy - I'm glad you got the gist of that last email, but really! I'm offended that you think I send you wanky material over the fibre optic lines! I shall endeavour to make it up to you. Peruse the three fine specimens of male manhoodliness below and rate them for me so that I may know the type you prefer, and thusly better serve your needs.












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And sadly Bill "I will rule the world" Gates doesn't even get a mention. You cruel woman - geeks have feelings too!

I think tho that you gave the best possible answer, all things considered. We're both well-versed in my opinion of Pinocchio Reeves, and he and Brad are just two of those guys that all heterosexual women have to lust after. It's a rule. Kinda like Angelina for guys... So can't begrudge you that, especially after you qualified the limitations of your lust for Keanu. That just shows what an intelligent and discerning woman you are. And that you're over 16.

However, your lack of desire for MammyBoy not only maps out the iciness of your heart, but it reveals a lack of pity towards malekind that I can only find reprehensible (wordscore!!). Of course he looks frightened!! That's his appeal! He just wants you to hold him, comfort him. He's vulnerable. He wants you to be his mummy... And what man doesn't want that from a woman, hmmm??

Erik Estrada. Sorry - you're just wrong. Show that pic to any gay man and study their reaction - that's what you need to be like for Erik. Because, as we all know, gay men have impeccable taste when it comes to men in uniform, e.g. The Village People. Nuff said.

And as for Frank? Good choice. There's just something about a gender-ambivalent she-man that causes a bit of confusion, that leading to a sense of excitement at the unknown. Or fear. But then fear is just excitement coupled with the uncertainty of the unknown, and so it becomes a circular situation, where circles are made up of curves and curves are a basic and timeworn trigger in the subconscious of the male mind to hint at reproductive suitability in a female of the species, thusly today are men to be forgiven for being attracted to lovely soft rounded fleshy bits like bums and breasts and full Angelina-lips and J-Lo asses (though not the rest of J-Lo, except as she appeared in that film with George Clooney and was incredibly hot in because she wasn't J-Lo then and was still Jenny from the block and was keeping her attitude in check for the screen and managed it really well but then got together with Ben Af-suck and hasn't done a damn thing since). So that explains why men are to be attracted to Frank-n-Furter, but why the woman?? Such as yourself. That's a matter for a mind more elastic than mine, one able to comprehend the vagaries of the feminine psyche and distill from the myriad streams of dis-logic the true nature of the dark, possessive, negative womanly yin (not my words - http://www.holistic-online.com/Acupuncture/acp_yin_yang.htm). As the Great street poet Barryster once remarked - upon one of his many dealings with a Mercurial wimmins - "Where's my money, Bitch!?", thusly illustrating with alarming brevity and to destructively scintillating effect the basic dilemma in residence between man and woman, parting the seas of their passion as surely as if Moses himself had found Cupid where he lay and molested the poor cherub into submission, before assuming the diminutive aspect of the now fallen and bleeding angel of desire and letting loose his own piercing shafts of division into our hearts. Who could close this gap? Who could bridge this chasm, bring the two sides of the Sea of Man and the crashing back together to find themselves again cresting one another in white-misted moistness?? Only one engendered of each gender - only one such as Frank-n-Furter.
And so it is clear that while the male attraction in this Crying Game arises purely from his infallible concern for the continuation of the human species, it is equally clear that the female attraction to Lady Boys stems from her desire to find a mate with whom she can trade hosiery and with whom she can discuss - ad nauseum - the delicacies of ingrown leg-hairs.